Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Randomize
