i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize
