im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
