You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
