no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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