so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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