im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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