we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
well, you know. whores of a feather.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
