guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
