She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
