My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
