We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
