he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
