do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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