big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
