Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
