bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Randomize