I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
