Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize