I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
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