We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
