is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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