Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize