she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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