He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
