is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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