Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
