I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Randomize
