i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
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