On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I think I sprained my soul last night
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
