handjob tips. give me some.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
