There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
