oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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