My first STD was from a foam party
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
