Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize