This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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