So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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