my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
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