im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Everyone says I win the strip club
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
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