OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
