Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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