I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
someone owes me an orgasm
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Of course I have a pirate flag
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
