A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Randomize
