he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
