and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize