so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
