I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
