Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Randomize
