HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
