help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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