he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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