He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
