I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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