i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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