Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize