he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
