I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Randomize