i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I just found a bag of teeth...
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
