Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
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